The Telly Nelly Blog

The Telly Nelly's LGBT TV Picks for 10.31.06

Happy Halloween darlings - hope you're simply drowning in candy!

What's on The Telly Tonight?

"Vincent Price Quadruple Feature"

8:00 p.m. ET - TCM

Vincent Price was gay, right? C'mon, he just had to be gay - look at that ascot! Perhaps he wasn't gay, but he certainly oooozes gayness in most of his movies. Don't agree? Watch tonight and then decide as Turner Classic Movies brings you a Halloween tribute to this master of horror with four classic Price films: "The Masque of Red Death," "House of Usher," my favorite of the four - "The Abominable Dr. Phibes," and "Diary of a Madman." While I prefer to get my Vincent Price fix on "The Brady Bunch" Hawaii episodes, these flicks are probably more appropriate for Halloween, no?

"The Rocky Horror Picture Show"

8:00 p.m. ET - LOGO

May the TV Gods bless LOGO for giving us this delicious musical treat tonight. If you've never seen it...how is that possible? This ultimate cult classic stars Susan Sarandon as the not-so-innocent Janet, Barry Bostwick as her tighty-whitey clad Brad, and Tim Curry as transvestite "evil" scientist, Dr. Frank-N-Furter. Amazing. Everything Tim Curry has done since this movie (with the exception of "Clue") has been poop on a stick in comparison. Seriously!

"Law & Order: Criminal Intent"

9:00 p.m. ET - NBC

Liza Minnelli plays a former beauty queen who has been suspected of killing her daughter on Halloween night in 1992...gosh, this sounds a bit familiar, no? Quite Ramsey-esque, in fact, which is obviously the whole point now that sweeps week has reared its not-so-ugly head. I just love Liza...love her. You should watch if you're a fan. (I just might...I've got "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" on DVD, after all - so I'm free and clear!)

"Help Me Help You"

9:30 p.m. ET - ABC

Jonathan (Jim Rash), the man who doesn't know he's gay, is jealous of funny, flamboyant coworker, Andrew (Alec Mapa), and tries to get him fired. Bill (Ted Danson) also meets with his "Group Group," which includes one of my favorite recurring guest stars - Jane Lynch. Love the Lynch too...how could you not? She's amazing. Just amazing.

"Caroline Rhea: Rhea's Anatomy"

10:00 p.m. ET - Bravo

Fear not Rhea fans, she'll be discussing her views on same-sex marriage and other gay issues such as women dating gay men in this very special and upstanding standup special. (Say *that* ten times fast!) Yes, she's for same-sex marriage...obviously. Helllloooooo, this *is* a Bravo special, after all - you think she's gonna dis what must be over half of Bravo's audience? I think not.

"Nip/Tuck" - Alanis Morissette goes lesbian

10:00 p.m. ET - FX

Our favorite bitter little pill (Alanis Morissette) starts her recurring role tonight as lesbian anesthesiologist Liz Cruz's new object of love. Yes, love - lonely lesbo Liz finally gets some action! (And not of the kidney stealing kind either...ouch.) Pretty darn cool if you ask me though it'd be cooler if she wasn't going under the knife to improve her looks at the request of Alanis. Whatever - I've stopped watching this show already...it just couldn't hold my interest, even with all the gayness abounding in each episode. Fancy that...perhaps I'm not shallow after all! (Then again, perhaps I am - put some makeup on Liz, you look like crap!)

The Telly Nelly's LGBT TV Picks for Monday, October 30

Typepad sucks today so sorry for the lateness and any spelling errors - I've tried to load this page about 30 times and am just too annoyed to bother. (Or TellyCast for that matter.)

What's on The Telly Tonight?

"Dr. Phil: House of Hatred" - Part 2

Syndicated - check your local listings

While I'd never sink to watching such televised dreck, perhaps you have lower standards than I. (That'd be quite a feat, mind you.) The "House of Hatred" has six prejudiced people sharing a house together including homophobe Christina and heterophobe lesbian Tessa. If only we could channel all our hate into one mass loathing of Dr. Phil, the world would be a better place. Thank the TV Gods they shut this house down!

" The Class" - Repeat of Holly's horrible hurricane experience

8:30 p.m. ET -  CBS

Alas, it's a repeat, but at least it's the one that finds Holly reporting during a nasty hurricane much to the delight of  Kyle (Sean Maguire) and Aaron (Cristi' de la Fuente). Not bad, not bad at all.

"Heroes"

9:00 p.m. ET - NBC

There could be gayness in the form of Zack (Thomas Dekker), cheerleader Claire's somewhat gayish best high school bud, as Claire meets her biological parents in tonight's episode. Don't expect a cheery reunion however; since she's been living with the evil head honcho for most of her life I'm sure he wouldn't give up the goods unless he was totally in control of the situation. Tonight we'll also be introduced to Niki's ex-husband, D.L. Hawkins (played by the terrific Leonard Roberts - shout out to Wil) who joins the cast and seems to have Kitty Pryde's (X-men) ability to walk through walls. Good stuff people, you're a sucka if you're not watching this show.

"Weeds" - Season finale

10:00 p.m. ET - Showtime

Ah, the finale. Will it be full of tasty buds or just a bunch of shake? I'm quite behind in my "Weeds" viewing but will be sure to Tivo this episode and catch up once I'm "in the mood" as the kids say. For those who've been following this series, tonight Silas disappears and Shane gives a memorable graduation speech. Nancy and Conrad hope to finalize their big drug deal and Celia (mother of Isabelle, the possible lesbian) thinks she knows who has been stealing the cameras from her drug-free zones.  It wasn't me, I swear!

"Jacob & Joshua: Nemisis Rising"

10:oo p.m. ET - LOGO

The parents of this gay duo start dealing with the reality that their sons are gay as Jacob and Joshua come out and discuss relationships while fly-fishing with daddy. (Really? I just can't picture them in hip waders...) Jacob ponders introducing his boyfriend (too soon!) and Joshua has an emotional breakdown. Fabulous!

"The Colbert Show"

11:30 p.m. ET - Comedy Central

Barry Manilow stops by to talk about his new album - but heck no, he ain't gay! (Riiiiiight.)

What's on The Telly This Weekend?

You know I've got you covered - but you have to visit In Newsweekly to get my weekly column to see what's on...

Sorry darlings - I do so hate to duplicate myself!

The Telly Nelly's LGBT TV Picks for Friday, October 27

October 27th? Now that *is* scary. Do you know how old you're getting?

And heck. Winter's nearly upon us.

What's on The Telly Tonight?

"It's the Great Pumpkin, Charile Brown" - 40th Anniversary!

8:00 p.m. ET- ABC

I just love the holiday season. (That's because I'm a WASP.) This starts it all off with a bang; it's only another few weeks before the Thanksgiving special and then another few weeks before the Christmas special. I can hardly wait!!!

"Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Duel"

8:00 p.m. ET - MTV

If you missed last night's episode (shame on you) catch it now - there's quite a bit of Aneesa in the end. (And you know what *that* means.) Did she or didn't she? Tune in tonight and see! What's with the hair girl, you bring a few wigs with you to Brazil? Did you snatch them from Tyra?

"Men in Trees"

9:00 p.m. ET - ABC

Ugh. Mario Cantone *and* Anne Heche. I could simply spew!

"Female Trouble"

9:00 p.m. ET - IFC

Divine stars as Dawn Davenport who turns from the sweet life of a charming school girl and plummets into a life of violent crime. "Nice girls don't wear cha-cha heels..." Apparently, they don't! This movie scares me, which is why it's perfect for Halloween. Not one for the kids!

"Anderson Cooper 360"

10:00 p.m. ET - CNN

I think I'm going to the bar tonight Andy, I'll miss ya!

"Real Time with Bill Maher"

11:00 p.m. ET- HBO

Billy boy welcomes actor/singer Harry Belafonte, blogger Andrew Sullivan and fmr. Gov. Christine Todd Whitman. Plus, via satellite, Rep. Harold Ford, Jr. (D-TN) and blogger Arianna Huffington.  Could I be less interested in a show? (Get rid of the Harry Belafonte and it's my own personal hell!)

The Telly Nelly's Favorite Halloween Candy

Ah, how that Queerty loves to thrill so during the holidays! http://www.queerty.com/queer/the-totally-frightful-issue/the-totally-frightful-issue-reichen-20061025.php

What? You were expecting Swedish fish? *grin*

Mmmmm...perhaps for Lance Bass it's not all that funny but I think dear Reichen Lehmkuhl is doing the right thing here - when you're blessed with incredibly incredible good looks (as perceived by the masses, mind you) you should use them to your advantage stopping just this side on insanity. Like Cher. Or perhaps one of those surreal and maddening children's programs from the Netherlands.

Which brings us to his book! Go out and buy a copy, I don't care if it's good or bad - I'm not about to sound off on someone else's baby, let the cruel writing critics do any necessary cutting. Me? I'm into tooting my favorite's horn and I rememberer interviewing Reichen way back in the "Amazing Race 4" days, in fact. The day after his (& a fellow named Chip) win. Ah, such an idealistic lad he was, and I got a few questions of my own over the phone.

I recall that Reichen asked me if I thought he and Chip were good role models for gays and I told them why the hell not? I can't imagine there's a better person to model oneself in this century than a reality show winner - the ultimate victor and media darling, as it were. If you're lucky, you can parlay your cash and ephemeral fame into something more lasting. If not, you've got the cash,  hopefully the DVD, and some good memories. Don't blow it on drugs kids! But in all seriousness, why couldn't Reichen be a good role model? He hasn't killed anyone, he's just really good looking and really sweet to boot. Oh yes he is darlings, sweet like candy.

So buy his damn book already. Pretty is only good for so long - you gotta have something going after the looks fade or you get a nasty disfigurement. (Hey, it happens.)

Jebus - Finally my LGBT TV Picks for Thursday, October 26

What's on The Telly Tonight?

"Survivor:Cook Islands"

8:00 p.m. ET - CBS

Better watch out Brad - you're the only one who voted to keep the cop last tribal ceremony. Could you be next on the chopping block? Better work it in the immunity challenge toots!

"Ugly Betty"

8:00 p.m. ET - ABC

Poor Betty - fooled into dressing up for a non-existent MODE costume contest. Sigh...always the butterfly never the princess! But there are two dashing princes looming on the horizon for our heroine Betty, whatever will she do? Screw that, it's Judith Light!

"The Office"

8:30 p.m. ET - NBC

It's the big gay repeat of the big gay episode where Michael finally outs Oscar, the gay accountant. There's a kiss!

"Grey's Anatomy" - Season premiere repeat

9:00 p.m. ET - ABC

T.R. Knight - now gay! (That's all I really gots to say.)

"Joan Cusack's Local Flavor"

9:00 p.m. ET Travel

Now she's in Spain. I still think she tastes like fish. Anyone else think she's a little fishy? She's after olive oil in Cordoba, the lucky bitch!

"Real World/Road Rules The Challenge: The Duel"

10:00 p.m. ET - MTV

I think the girls duke it out again, which always makes me nervous for Diem. I so want her to win but you just never know when these bitches 'll turn on ya, right Beth? Look for hottie Brad, hope he's in tight fitting white bathing shorts! *giggle* If Aneesa doesn't shut her big, lesbian mouth - she might be going home tonight. (But I bet she could lift more melons than Beth. Perhaps.)

"Grey's Anatomy"

10:00 p.m. ET - ABC

It's a repeat of the McSteamy episode - you know, the one where a hot Eric Dane pops near-naked out of a steamy bathroom? Sigh...delicious television moments are precious and few I tell you. So it's always extra important to catch the reruns (or be liberal with your u-tube time).

Jebus, finally my LGBT T

Out to Honor The 100 Yet Again

Oh joy!

Here's the release, have at it starf*ckers!

(Needless to say I'm not on the list...piddle.)

OUT WILL HONOR THE 100 MOST INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE IN GAY CULTURE AT OUT100 AWARDS

Star-studded event presented by T-Mobile Sidekick 3 to feature musical performances by Kelis and Dangerous Muse on November 10

October 26, 2006 (New York, NY) - Out, the nation’s foremost gay general interest magazine, today announced they will honor the 100 most influential people in gay culture at the 2006 Out100 Awards presented by T-Mobile Sidekick 3 on Friday, November 10 at Capitale in New York. Justin Bond, from the new critically-acclaimed John Cameron Mitchell movie “Shortbus,” will host the 12th Annual event along with special musical performances by Kelis and Dangerous Muse with Music by The MisShapes.

In their special December issue, Out recognizes the 100 most influential people in gay culture with a special list spanning categories including books, business, fashion, film, media, music, politics, performance, television and visual arts. The issue also includes this year’s straight allies and the Hall of Shame. The star-studded Out100 will also unveil five celebrities being recognized for their commitment to their crafts and gay rights in the categories of Humanitarian of the Year, Entertainer of the Year, Ingénue of the Year, Stylemaker of the Year and Artist of the Year

“At the end of each year, gay Americans look back to celebrate their victories, reflect on any defeats and prepare for the year ahead,” said Aaron Hicklin, Out magazine’s Editor in Chief. “The Out 100 issue celebrates the gay men, lesbians and straight allies who have helped shape gay culture throughout the year.”

For the first time ever, anyone around the world will be able to experience the Out100 as they happen as celebrities and honorees at the event will blog their experiences live on Out.com.  Special T-Mobile Sidekick 3 blogging stations will be set up throughout the event to provide a behind-the-scenes view of the event.  Leading up to the Out100, celebrities and special guests will blog on a variety of topics on Out.com, with photos and video footage from the most memorable past Out100 also being featured.

“We wanted to capture this year’s awards in a different way,” comments Out’s pulisher, Joe Landry. “By allowing people from all over the world to experience the Out100 live, we hope to spread our message of recognizing those who contribute positively to gay culture to an even broader audience.”

A limited edition Out100 Alternative Apparel t-shirt designed by Kayne Gillespie of Project Runway Season 3 will be featured in this year’s gift bags, among other items from Calvin Klein Underwear, Kiehl’s Since 1851, L’Oreal, Hershey, Paul Mitchell and Macy’s.  The 2006 Out100 is presented by T-Mobile Sidekick3 and generously supported by Target, Saturn, BMS Light to Unite, Absolut, Sapphire Condominiums and Movado.

Issues with Typepad...

Have delayed my regular TV pick posting - sorry dears, them's the breaks!

But I'll get something up ASAP, I swear. (I can't keep Hans, my masseur, waiting!)

Here! TV Brokers Deal with AOL

Hey girls - here's some hot news fresh in from the here! TV Network PR vixens. It's always nice to see TV oozing all over the Internet, don't you think?

The more, the merrier - here! TV's got a new carrier. (My, but I'm clever.)

Here's the official word from here! TV:

here! Networks Brings Premium LGBT Digital Entertainment to AOL Gay & Lesbian

Dulles, VA and NEW YORK, NY (October 26, 2006) – AOL and here!, America’s premium gay television network, announced today a partnership to provide on demand short-form video programming to LGBT consumers on AOL Gay & Lesbian (aol.com/gay).  Under the partnership, here! will enable AOL Gay & Lesbian's online community to watch and share high-quality short-form video content from here!’s extensive cache of LGBT programming.

An assortment of here!’s groundbreaking and acclaimed original programming will be offered to AOL Gay & Lesbian visitors. The online partnership will allow marketers to strategically target gay and lesbian viewers with pre and post roll commercial spots, banner ads and other embedded messages.  AOL will feature over 300 here! video offerings annually including:

- 2-6 minute selects and trailers from here!’s recent and upcoming programming in over a dozen categories including: original films, series, specials, concerts, here! News segments, here! Focus and Behind-the-Scenes footage from all of here!’s original productions, sponsored events and promotions.

- The best in LGBT independent short films from here!’s vast collection